Are the best things in life really free?

Now that's a title to ponder.  And I only ask it because lately I have bumped into some really great stuff - and all of it was free.  Things in fact that enriched my life. Added value so to speak.  And it made me wonder why I don't tap into these 'free' resources more often.

Case in point is CBC radio.  When I was growing up - you  had to be a fuddy-duddy to listen to CBC radio.  Or live in the north.  I know because at one point I lived in a town called Blue River BC (pop 400) and the only radio station we could get was CBC radio.  And I listened once or twice.  I may have fallen asleep to a CBC talk show occasionally because I was living alone and afraid of my own shadow - that and "Three Paw" - the bear that roamed the property.

Anyway - back to CBC.  Totally free.  Except that in some way our taxes support it. (I think)  I started tuning in about 2 months ago - and was intriques by the intelligent conversation.  And then - the early adapter and explorer that I am - I stumbled across a brand new program.  Terry O'Reilly hosts a show called the "Age of Persuasion".  It's not a call in show - more like a monologue filled with great history, opinion, intelligent thoughts, brilliant observations and the like - all around marketing.

As far as I am concerned the government could simply stop throwing good money after bad into small business programs and simply support Terry's program - and businesses in Canada would be better served! Yes - it is good.

Back to "the best things in life are free".  Is this really true?  Well think about it.  Hand holding.  Hugs.  Someone opening a door for you.  Laughter. Good advice.  But these are more ethereal in nature.  How about more free stuff for your business?

Have you checked out Google lately?  Google offers so much for free that we forget the benefits even exist.  Free document storage.  Free document sharing.  Free email for your web site.  Free calendars.  FREE FREE FREE.  In fact when they actually ask for your credit card for something because it costs money - we seem shocked!  What?  It's not free?

Chris Anderson penned an insightful look at FREE in his book by the same word.  (Unfortunately the book was not free.)  It examined the give-away strategy to get someone to buy a product.  He cited many many examples including the Google business model - and it prompted me to ponder how I could use this same strategy in my business.  We had marginally explored free and offered up sporadic 'freebie' strategies but did not have in place a good product ladder - starting with free.

This is why we came up with the Free Membership level at Roaring Women.  Do you get good stuff for free?  Yes!

The question now is how can you use FREE in your business?  What thing of value can you give away for free?  And let me stress the value part - because all of us have drawers - and might I offer - boxes of free stuff that is literally junk that people have given us for free.  No free is only good when it is of value to you.  So what good things can you give away?

Well let's start with your expertise. And I will go back to Terry O'Reilly.  His radio show or podcast is free.  He gives away his expertise.  I laugh - I think and I am inspired by his knowledge.  So much so - I now am looking for what else I can buy from him.  And if I cannot find anything to buy from him - I will likely tattoo his name on my arm. (really?)  He does have a book - and I am looking to see where I can get it for free (ha ha).

Yes the best things in life are free.  And next in line - are the things that people who give free stuff away - have for sale.  Are you thinking yet?

BTW did you know we offer Free Coaching to members.  And free tips?  

Time to reconnect and ask the "Important" questions

Every once in a while - its important to ask those all important questions truth seeking questions.  As individuals in an ever changing universe, we sometimes find ourselves looking inward when we look in the mirror - instead of critiquing the new wrinkle that appeared from 'God knows where'.  (I think this introspection revs up after 50)

Questions like: "Why am I here?",  "What's it all about?" and the like.  For anyone who has ever done any personal growth or life coaching - there are  these and other probing questions routinely raised by coaches that go beyond the "how are you?" and "whatchya doin?"

Yesterday while rubbing my dog's ears and cradling his furry brown head in my hands - I peered into his eyes and said, "Hey Finnegan - What's going on for you?".  Not surprisingly he looked directly at me as if he understood and leaned into my ear rubbing and gave me his 'ahhh that feels good' dog groan.  He was satisfied.  Warm, walked, well fed and loved, he had answered my question with a knowing look and a groan.

Strangely - I got a much different response from my "on again, off again" partner.  When I asked him - "what's going on for you?" - he cocked his head to the side and looked at me as if I had two heads.  Clearly not understanding the meaning of the question or the intent behind it - he hurried on to do his stuff.  I was reminded by this response that there is a time and place for every question - and this was clearly not either.

Probing questions like "what's going on for you",
(or for me when looking in the mirror),  can be very revealing and can help us to reconnect to who we are and what we stand for.  I ask them of myself regularly; birthdays, when feeling blue or when involved in mindless repetitive tasks that have little purpose.

Many would tell me that I think too much.  But I have always believed that even if we are not always truthful with the world - we must be honest with ourselves.  ( or shall I say I must always be honest with myself)   It is how we stay connected to that life breathing force.  Our source as Wayne Dyer calls it.  Many others call it God - or the God within.

So one day before I reach my 51st birthday, I am awakened at 4 am by a dream where I am having an extremely revealing and honest conversation with someone I barely knew - but sensed a connection with.  And it made me ask myself - "what's going on for me?"

My first response as I swung my legs over the side of the bed was to think, "Oh, I dunno - not too much".  Then I realized the meaning of the question and the intent behind it.  It was time to reconnect to myself.  My source was reaching out to me - to see how I was doing.

Some would say that this question was posed to me from none other than God himself.  Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 3:16, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?"  Many other scriptures and holy writings also confirm us that God resides within us.

Realizing I just heard the voice of my creator - asking me how I was doing and what was going on for me, made me recognize -  I am loved and cared for.  It's time to reconnect and answer the question!

A much needed reminder...

Today I received and important phone call and an equally important email connecting me back to my past.  Both came from women with whom I had significant relationships not so long ago.  Last year however - like it has been for many others - was a devastating year for me.

Gladly - I have left 2011 and jumped eagerly into new opportunities in 2012.  Oh what a difference a day can make in terms of how we view the world.  I mean really - what could really be the difference between December 31st and January 1st 2012?

It wasn't so much as a change in the year as it is a change in how I feel and my attitude towards the future.  Interesting huh?

As eager as I was to leave 2011 behind I did take time to reflect on what made that year in particular so difficult for me.  And then I realized after the call and the email - that I had left behind many good things without realizing it.  And in just a few moments in the new year - two of those good things (relationships) came back  into my life.  And in a moment- I brought forward all the good things that I had left behind!

Tara - a client and friend was first to connect.  She too has had her share of 'stuff' in the last couple of years.  One of the decisions she made in the new year was to reconnect with important people in her life.  I hope she realizes the importance of her reconnection - how healing it was for me.  I see that when those important connections become broken - we lose a little of ourselves.  So thank you Tara! (please see her site here)

The other reconnect was with Deborah.  Her company designed our site - and has been instrumental in encouraging me to continue moving forward in my business no matter how much it hurt. (yes I do have bad years too)  Deborah is in re-invention mode - stretching her entrepreneurial reach into the hotel business!  Pretty soon I expect her to 'rule the world'.  She already rocks it!

Lesson for me?  It could be summed up in "don't throw the baby out with the bath water".  But in all seriousness, the second lesson is about staying connected.  In order to become the best 'us' we can be - we have to remain connected to the good bits - because every time we leave one good bit behind - we lose a little of the best of who we are!

Deborah and Tara bring out the good bits in me - and I am glad that they have found me again!  Makes me feel like orchestrating group hug... or joining the one below!

Lessons from my brown furry business partner

It seems that 90% of all things good that I have learned in the last three years about balance in my business - I learned from my dog.

Time off - the need for encouragement and non-judgmental acceptance are only a few of the lessons Finnegan has taught me.

I realized it this week - when at 6 am I was up and working on some things to get caught up.  He walked up to me and with a sleepy look in his eyes nudged my arm off my keyboard.  He waited patiently - nudged again and then lay at my feet. I petted his head, scratched him under the chin and went back to work. Several minutes later he went back to bed - which at 7:30 I realized I should have done because all I had accomplished was a little work and a lot of changing of my mind - causing rewrite after re-write!

Later that day - around 10 am - Fin decided we both needed  a good walk. As I drove us both to the dog park - I could see him in the rear view mirror - his Labrador laugh and his tongue hanging out.  As I turned the corner to the the local off leash dog park - his ears went down and he seemed to slump.  He realized we were only going to the little dog park - he knows it well.

Then like lightening - a thought crossed my mind.  (some would call it a flash of brilliance!)  I turned the car around and headed to the highway.  He immediately sat up - tongue out - and began to laugh again - we were going to the woods by the Bow River!  I smiled as I realized how much he loved our long walks together.

He bounded out of the car, chased sticks, laughed, jumped, walked calmly beside me, nudged me for treats,  perched on rocks like a trick circus dog and tracked elk and other wildlife.  He was in his element - and he had taken me there with him.

I took long deep cold breaths of the woodland smells. Pine, Aspen and wet earth.  When we got to the river - Finnegan lay in the icy water and I smelled the freshness of the rushing water on the rocks.  The sun shone - the blue sky winked at me and 'Three Sisters" mountain wrapped her arms around me in a spiritual hug - holding me near to her greatness.

As I looked around me - I realized that I was experiencing the universe in all its splendor - right where I was standing.  Finnegan instinctively came to my side and sat there  - just looking forward, around and up - totally at peace.

There were no sounds except the winter birds chirping,  the fragrant pine boughs rustling in the wind and the whooshing rushing sounds of the river.

Nothing and everything was important - all at one time.  There was no need to make decisions - no need to say anything, no need to move.  All I needed to be was to BE.

Three Sisters Mountain - Canmore AB

On our drive home I began singing at the top of my lungs to a song I loved that was on the radio.  I didn't know all the words - so inevitably sang the first ones that came to mind.  They made no sense at all - and I began to mentally chastise myself for singing the wrong words.  Funny thing was - Finnegan didn't even protest - or remind me the words I just sang were the wrong words.   He just knew that the sounds I was making - was a joyful noise - and he accepted it just as that.

I realized as I got back to my desk - that it was time to relinquish some of the reigns of power - and turn them over to Finnegan.  He knew how to just BE - and enjoy BEING.  He did not have to achieve anything before 7:30 am, and did not require accolades have the 'need' to make the sale.  He was happy in the experience he was in - wherever that was.

I think it is time I began listening more to my dog and less to myself!

HAHA - what were you selling again?

Every once in a while I sit back and take a critical look at other businesses' marketing efforts - just to see what works for me - and what methods quite frankly seem ludicrous and ineffective.  And I wonder - WHO are these people paying to do their marketing?

I would cite a case in point - but there are too many to mention.  All I know is that when I watch a commercial,  before it is completed I think I should be able to determine what the product is that they are trying to sell - or at least figure it out after a few minutes.  But lately - I have see so many 'clever' commercials that may have made me laugh - but for the life of me - I cannot remember what the commercials were about!

Now I know - when one laughs - one learns and remembers things better than if there is no emotional response. The ScienceDaily (May 26, 2005) published findings that confirms that laughter helps us to remember.  And yes I remember several funny commercials.  But the telltale sign that the marketing was ineffective is when I see a commercial begin - and think  "oh yeah , hahah, I love this commercial", but cannot recall a product, service or even a company it is related to!


Over the week-end though I was re-introduced to some fabulous marketing.  In fact it was so effective - that although I could not participate in the rush of purchasing because of where I live - I wanted to go anyway and wished I lived somewhere I could go and SHOP!


That's right - last Friday was "Black Friday" in the USA.  And because we get US television stations - we get their commercials.  I have to say I loved the TARGET commercials. They had me laughing but most of all - I remember that it was TARGET - AND I wanted to find a TARGET store and line up for midnight just to get a deal - ANY DEAL!  (see one of their commercials here.  
Now that is effective marketing!


It made me wonder about my marketing efforts.  How irresistible did I make my offer?  Is there enough emotion in my marketing?  Am I getting BUY-IN from those who need what I have to offer?  And further - is my advertising so effective that even if someone does not want my product - do they feel excited and are they considering a purchase?


The final point is KEY!  Because if someone else is excited about your product - but they cannot use it - chances are they will refer you to someone else!  And that is KEY to marketing success - because someone else's referral is the best marketing you can have!

So I am off to the drawing board.  Shame on me if you don't know what we offer!  Double shame if you don't at least remember the name Roaring Women!  I guess it's time to get less clever and more direct!


See a fun video here on Roaring Women


Want to get rewarded for referring www.roaringwomen.com membership?  Why not join the affiliate program here?  You get $5 just for signing up!

White knights - the disempowering fairy tale.

I can't tell you how I have longed over the years to learn how to feel better about who I am.  And I have always wanted someone to rescue me - from myself and my self loathing and self criticism. (and other self destructive behaviours)

I have taken many courses in my quest to find my holy grail.  (self esteem) I have achieved many great things.  But at the end of the day - it has never been enough.  I also know it does not matter what others think of me - if I do not feel good about who I am - in my mind what people say, truth or not, is simply flattery.

This year, however,  I came to understand that self esteem grows when I accomplish things I never thought I could - when I have been pushed to the edge and instead of waiting for the white knight to appear - I have rescued myself.

(let me be clear here - as a former police officer - I am a problem solver and relish in rescuing others - so it not that I am incapable)

My first real personal accomplishment this year came when I drove 3,000 km across the country - all on my own in an older car.  Before I left on the trip - I had been very concerned and wondered if I could do it.  After 2 1/2 days - arriving at my destination - I chuckled at all the circumstances I imagined were going to happen - none of which did!

A week later I had a trailer hitch put on my car. (for reasons I will reveal at another time) 140 km, and 24 hours later, I discovered why driving home the car seemed to be getting a lot of rock noise under the car.  And so I got on my hands and knees and looked under the car.

Dangling from the car was a 3 foot length of wire - that was dragging on the ground as I drove.  After getting over the anger that the company that installed the hitch had not done a very good job - I called trying to get someone to come fix the problem.

After being transferred to 4 departments and with still no commitment on WHO would attend to fix the issue - I decided to see if I could figure out what was going on.  I lifted the hood and also looked in the trunk to see if I could find out where the wire came from and where it went to.

After about ten minutes and 2 band-aids later, the wire had been tightened, rolled up and secured and the car was now driveable.  Imagine the self esteem boost when I realized I did not have to be rescued.  (I am definitely not very knowledgeable about cars!)

Later the same day, my RV grey tank became too full to drain the dish water.  I took a deep breath, and decided to learn how to empty the grey tank.  Then I did it - oh boy - I pulled the wrong lever.   I emptied the black tank instead by accident!  What I wanted to do was berate myself and then sit down and cry until somebody who knew what to do next would rescue me.  ( I mean really - how unproductive is that!)

Instead - I took a few minutes to breathe - began looking at levers - and figured things out.  I did a full system flush and cleaned the whole system out - without any help from anyone. (anyone ho has seen the movie RV - will get a chuckle out of this story)

All of these tasks were likely close to 'last' on the things I wanted to learn how to do in my life.  And definitely not items on my 'bucket list'.

However they all served as very valuable lessons to me.  If problems I really did not want to deal with ( and would do ANYTHING at all to get someone else to do) could be solved with my own ingenuity - then truthfully I could do anything.

That knowledge and understanding helped me to understand how valuable I was.  I really was the most important person in my own life.  I came through when I needed me.

All the self esteem courses in the world could never replace the silent celebration I had after I realized that I really could do anything I set my mind to.  More importantly I realized that although it is nice to have a white knight show up to rescue me from unpleasant situations, it is far more satisfying when I rescue myself.

Here are a few other lessons I learned:

• Just because it is not my job - it does not mean I won't have to do it.
• Self esteem is a gift we give ourselves.  It cannot be given to us through courses or kind words.  It is something we have to fashion to fit us - and only we know the dimensions!
• Waiting to be rescued is a waste of precious time and disempowering.
• White Knights can be high maintenance :)   (And that is another, much longer story)

The Ultimate JV Partner

Joint Ventures.  Partnering with like minded people and people you trust to cross promote products is a fantastic way to build relationships and business at the same time - all the while offering great value to customers.

I have not always partnered with others to promote products and services - simply because I like to try out their products or services before I pass them along to people I know.   However today - I realized that I have the ULTIMATE joint venture partner - that I rarely have made a point of partnering with.  I know in the past we have worked together - and this partner is always sending me the best energy - but I just have never thought of becoming a joint venture partner with them.

But today I was speaking with a colleague who reminded me that there were things I could be doing to bring financial abundance my way.  And that's when I remembered this JV partner.

Who is it? 

The Universe of course!  

Who better than the Universe - who is always sending great things my way, and conspires daily on my behalf!

And so I sat down to write a letter to the Universe - asking it to partner with me on a specific project. (oh yeah - I really did it)   I laid out all the details of the project and asked that it send me the specific things I needed to achieve my goal.

Now I don't know about you, but when I partner with someone on a project - I give them specific things that I want them to do.  And then I let it go.  Well I did the same in the letter to the Universe.  And now I have let it go - trusting the Universe to do its part.

The neat part is that - I know the Universe has always delivered exactly what was needed - when it was needed in the past.  So I have every belief that this JV project that I have asked help with with be crazy successful - simply because - I have the ultimate J.V partner!

Thanks to Gail at www.quantumsuccesscoaching.com

Like Gail's web site - get one at a reasonable price here - http://www.mswebconsulting.com