The connecting tree

Before the great rains ( if you live in Alberta right now you know what I mean) I was out with my husband and the dog walking on some trails at the base of China Man's Peak. We came upon several trees what had the bark rubbed clean and with bits if hair and fur on the bark surrounding the areas rubbed clean. (My first thought was OH NO! BEAR!)

Surprisingly after we returned home I found an article in the local paper that explained this occurrence.

These trees are what the local wildlife have designated as "connecting trees". Many different species of animals visit these trees to get and to leave information. The trees themselves also provide information for the visiting animals about the nutrients available in the plants around the trees and the amount of rainfall etc.

A bear leaving his scent and other information to communicate with the rest of the animal community

When an animal visits the "connecting tree", they learn about which animals have been by, what food is available in the area, the weather, local animal population and much, much more information pertinent to their well-being.

It's easy to look at bears for example as an entity unto themselves - disconnected from other animals. Or wolves and coyotes to be competing for the same resources - and not animals that would communicate with each other. But this is not the case. They communicate inter-species. And even the trees participate!

It seems that it is only humans who think they can live independently of each other!

Regardless of their species, their prey and their territory, animals still share information willingly with each other. They support each other because they know the need each other and that there is enough for everybody. They know they are connected.

When we gather together as women - we do the same thing as the wildlife does - just in our own human way. We do need each other - and that is why it is important to meet together regularly to share information, ideas, support, resources and just to simply connect.

So next time you feel too tired or rushed to get to a Roaring Women Meeting - think about the 'connecting tree' and how much the survival of wildlife depends upon it. The same holds true with meeting together as women. We flourish when we connect!

And if that does not convince you to get to a meeting - studies have shown that 'word of mouth' is the best advertising there is. We all need support, ideas and new information! Join us at one of our meetings. Let Roaring Women be your connecting tree.

PS Have  you taken a look at the ROAR Boards

The door bell rings - and there goes Fido!

Over the winter I got several good laughs when a certain commercial came on the television where the doorbell rang.  My chocolate lab - then bout 15 months old jumped up and ran to the the door ready to greet whoever was there!  (there was no one of course)

The fun part about this was that we never have anyone come to our door - and to be truthful - I am not even sure that the doorbell works.  But every time he heard the familiar 'ding-dong' on the television - he ran to the door barking!

Now comfortably nested in our RV in Canmore at the campground we manage - we had one of the 3 television channels on during the recent snowstorm.  (will it ever end?)  On came the commercial with the doorbell sound effect.  The dog, who had snuck into the bedroom area and was quietly taking the bed apart so he could snuggle under the covers, tore out into the living area and slid to a stop by the door of the RV and began barking.

I could hardly stop laughing. Now we have NEVER had a doorbell on the RV - so this was indeed very funny.  But it got me to wondering about his behavior.  Born and semi-raised in an outdoor pen - Finnegan (our dog) had never lived in a house, until ours.  And I know there was no doorbell on the barn he was born in.  How then did he know to run to the door when hearing a doorbell chime?

The answer may not be what you expect.  You see, our cells have memory.  And everything we are exposed to affects our cells - and they change as a result.  Cells develop memories and may even evolve as a result of stimulus or changes they may need to make to keep us functioning properly.  So it is fair to say that we do unknowingly and unwittingly carry with us many of the memories of our families past.  (This has actually been proven scientifically)  And this is why he knew a doorbell sound and why he should run to the house's entrance.

This isn't just true with animals - it is true with humans as well.  So for instance in my family - we have all developed in a certain way, with certain ideas and beliefs as a result of where we were born, raised, and the work the family did before I was born.  One belief I know I had was that the we were 'underdogs' - always treated unfairly never able to get ahead.  This was not something I made up - it was something I subconsciously knew to be true.

Our brains as we all know are made up of cells with memories.  Interestingly enough, much of what my brain knows subconsciously, came not from my own expereinces but from the learned and shared experiences of those who went before me.  My mother, father, grandparents and great-grandparents passed along helpful and not so helpful understandings that shaped who I am and what I believe.  Some of these beliefs serve me well.

Some of these beliefs do not serve me well at all.  But how do I know what they are - or how to change them?

Sorting through my subconscious is like trying to find a needle in a haystack in a DARK barn.  Almost impossible until I get pricked by the sharp end.

What I learned several years ago is - we can use some great methods to find out what those subconscious beliefs are - and we can change them using a collaborative of knowledge around brain gym, affirmations and connecting the left and right side of the brain. It takes a little training - but is more than well worth the time to learn it.

Think about it.  If you could learn how o remove the blockages and subconscious beliefs that hinder your ability to reach your goals - wouldn't you want to learn how to do it?

The other option is to deny that we can change at all - that we are stuck in self limiting behaviors that sabotage our ability to change our worlds.  Hmmmm... I don't think I can accept that way of thinking!

Join me on July 10 and 11th, 2010 to learn from one of North America's leading trainers to discover how to remove your limiting beliefs!  We are already 1/2 full. More info here

Going where only the brave dare to go.. an “Avatar” moment.

Not many people are brave enough to face the truth about things – or to tell the full truth for that matter.  Our legislated political correctness – which really just replaces the common decency and respect we used to have for each other, has only encouraged us to avoid the truth of many things. But the world is changing.

I was pleasantly surprised today by a lady who understood the value of truth and stepped up to the plate.  It was truly an 'Avatar' moment. (Avatar after the movie - I recommend everyone see it.)

Let me explain…

I am assisting my husband in running of Wapiti Campground in Canmore this summer. I have taken on the job of reservations – and so to make things more organized - have set up a website to take reservations online.

On Friday I received a phone call from a lady to reserve a camping site. I gave her the link to sign up at and she told me that she did not have internet (despite having an email address) and that there was no one who could help her out. I obliged and signed her up online using my internet connection.

The next day I assisted her friend who also wanted a site next to her. When I called back to confirm the reservation – the second lady said she was canceling the reservation. She also advised me the first lady would be canceling as well. I called the first lady and she said yes she was canceling and felt that I had taken advantage of her by charging a reservation fee. (this is a standard practice at all provincial campgrounds). I replied that I was sorry she felt that way – and canceled her reservation.

I was upset by her accusations of trying to take advantage of her – but then thought – oh well – this opened the door for a better reservation.

This morning she called back. As soon as she said her name – I cringed. I had been upset with her – and although I had been polite I had also been abrupt.

She went on to apologize for her accusations and thanked me for my time. She also asked if she could PLEASE pay the reservation fee although she had canceled the reservation. She acknowledged that she had taken my time – and said I should receive some compensation for it.

Of course I refused – thanked her for calling with the apology – told her it was a brave thing to do and she should be commended for it - and finished the call. It took several minutes for me to pick my jaw up off of the floor. Wow. 

Here’s the truth. It was brave of her to call me back and apologize. It was also considerate. But mostly it brought the energy of our worlds back into balance. In that moment we truly connected as human beings – who really do care about each other. (It was an “Avatar” moment) 

I felt better – she felt better – and the ripple begins.

What ripples will you send out today?

Did you know I am available for success coaching?  (for all areas of your life)

My new career as a painter....

When I die – bury me with this paint brush.” OK – go ahead and laugh but the Egyptians were buried with their treasured objects! ( I know, many of you thought I might want to be buried with my computer)

When there is a job to do – there is nothing better than having the right tools to do the job – and for that matter – the best tools to do the job.

This past month we were spending all of our spare time getting our house ready for sale – and that involved a lot of painting. Hallways, exterior, stairwells and touch ups were just a few of the areas I painted using one paintbrush.

I could have gone out to the garage and hunted up an old paint brush to do the job, but when I was out picking the paint up, I decided to look at some new brushes. There were a lot to choose from – so I asked the ‘expert’ in the paint department for a good brush for ‘cutting in’. He walked straight to the display and chose one and said, “this is the one I use – and I love it.” He was the ‘expert’ – so I trusted his advice. I bought it. 

When I began using the brush, I was amazed at how well I could paint. Now I am not a painter – but looking at the results – I was amazed. I did not need to use tape to cover other trim – I was able to cut in even the smallest of places. I became so excited at the results that what was supposed to be a chore that I was not looking forward to – became a job I really enjoyed.

My husband was mortified. Then disturbed. Then finally annoyed. You see the hallway was all I was going to paint. But then I got to the stairwell – and I thought – what the heck! So I went around the corner and down the stairs. Then came the corner by the closet. Well I really couldn’t stop there. By noon I had advanced to the living room. (now you see my hubby’s concern)

And to add to the euphoria I experienced while doing the job I thought I was going to hate – was the yummy feeling in my tummy as I looked at the milk chocolate colour of the walls. Between the results of the cutting in and the final look of the room – I was in heaven. All I wanted to do was to continue to paint.

This made me think about my business. How often had I just used a tool I had on hand to do a job – not bothering to even look to see if there was a better tool to use. Perhaps this is why I put off some of the jobs I did not like to do. Maybe there were better tools?

Case in point – my new virtual assistant Raghu suggested I start using a tool called Hoot Suite. I had become tired of tweeting and updating all my social network pages. When you write as much as I do – after a while it can become mundane. What a cool tool – I was hooked immediately!

I guess the point I am trying to make is – no job has to be mundane. Not only can we find joy in doing a job and doing it well – there are thousands of tools out there to help us. All we have to do is ask an expert – and maybe invest in a good tool to help us out.

When you won’t invest in new tools and ideas – you remain mired in old thinking – and often old attitudes. 

So here’s the deal. You get to choose how easy (or hard) and fun (or mundane) it is to run your business.

Oh – and yes – my husband chose a paintbrush from the garage. (oh dear) He is still picking paintbrush hairs off the trim on the front porch….. and grumbling about painting.

Raising my arms in "Rocky - like" fashion!

Being in business is the best self development tool one could ever ask for. I cannot tell you how much fun ( and some days not so fun) that personal growth has been for me. And to think we can get paid for it!

When I think about personal growth I am often reminded of the old Wide World of Sports commercial that featured skiers that t showed the joy of success – and the AGONY of defeat! For those of you who remember it – and I know I am dating myself- every time we see that skier crash – we cringe. OW!

The truth of it is that we often avoid personal growth because we are afraid it might hurt. What we do not anticipate is the financial and personal gains we experience in our businesses as a result.

As I have mentioned – although somewhat offhandedly – I recently won Calgary Business Woman of the year. For those who know the size of Calgary – over a million people – this is no small feat.

I did not nominate myself – nor did I apply - so it was a huge surprise for me. Having been brought up in a family and culture where it was not nice to brag – I humbly played the achievement down – mentioning it here and there but never really stepping into the position of greatness that was offered to me.

Until recently that is.  A few weeks ago I sat in a seminar run by a well known marketer who was selling her services. As I sat through her presentation I mentally made note; I teach that….hmmm I teach that too…yes that is something I recommend….. – well you get the point.

Then I realized, “wow the only difference from what I teach and sell and what she teaches and sells is price point.” Unfortunately I did not have the endorsement that she had during that event.

Whose fault was that?

Mine.

False humility and ‘pooh poohing’ my accomplishments hid my ability and diminished my value. If I did not value or acknowledge my accomplishments – how could I expect anyone else to see what I could do – and attach a significant monetary value to it?

It was then that Ii realized that my resentment at not being able command a higher price and attain the contracts that I wanted was my issue and no one else’s.

So I did it. I showed my accomplishment to the leaders and they announced it to the group and I got a standing ovation. It took all my energy to raise my hands in the air – “Rocky” style and accept the congratulations. But I did it. Immediately my credibility was established and I decided that I would do this more often.

The truth is – we are all great in some areas. Unfortunately we do not often believe in ourselves – and our ability to become successful is adversely affected. We do create our own worlds, possibilities and success.

My head believes I am Calgary Business Woman of the year 2010. My heart rejoices. The Universe now prepares the way for success when I marry the two together.

So – what’s holding you back?  (hmmm what you think?)

For anyone interested in pursuing their dreams and starting the journey to success – contact me for one free laser coaching session. Yes for free. You now have no more excuses!

An adventure in bread making

Ah – another “be in the moment” lesson teaching me to live in the here and now!

As many of you know, last fall I was notified that I was nominated and had won Calgary Business Woman of the Year 2010. As surprised as I was – I also refused to acknowledge the significance and wanted to ignore or bury the excitement I felt about it.

(Yes, I avoid feelings like the plague. I would rather think and make sense of things)

So instead of allowing myself to become excited – I denied the feelings and became the feeling. I started doing things without thinking because I was in that ‘state of hyper excitement’ not available to think or even be aware of what was going on around me.

Air head might have been the best description and I am sure my husband, although he refrained from saying it out loud – called me that and a few more choice names before the day was over.

To avoid my ‘day of the event’ excitement and nervousness, I decided to bake bread. From scratch. Yeah – smart huh?

Swedish Cardamom Wreath was my choice and I buried myself in the fragrant aroma of the cardamom – an Indian pepper.

I placed the dough in a slightly warm oven to let it rise. (For those who have visited my home – they will understand that room temperature at my house is not conducive to bread rising!)

After running a quick errand – I came in the house to get the dog and head to the dog park with my hubby. It was a glorious Sunday and I was determined to relax. I checked on the bread and it did not appear to have even begun to rise. So I turned the oven on to 150 degrees, adjusted the wet tea towel over the bowl, closed the oven door and headed out.

We returned home one hour later to a house full of blue smoke and the smell of burning fabric. (smelled very much like wood smoke)

You guessed it. I ran to the kitchen to find the tea towel half burned up – and the dough only slightly risen!

The lecture I endured following the airing of the house was minor compared to the realization that I could have been attending the awards banquet in my jeans and sweat top. Pretty scary stuff for someone so concerned about how they appear to others.

Oh yeah – and the house could have burned down.

I hope I learned my lesson. As much as I like fireman – I would rather see them in a calendar then hosing down the ashes of what once was my house.

Here and now Mandie. Here and now.

Oh – yes – and the bread? It tasted great! 

(PS. Thanks to who ever nominated me - and the businesses in Calgary that supported me as well!)

Ground hog Day - a lesson finally learned

Groundhog day – the movie I mean – recently taught me something. Amusing as it may seem to some – it took me over 20 years to learn the lesson that the movie was trying to get across. I realize now what the movie was about – and I am wondering if perhaps I had ‘got it’ earlier – I might have had an easier life!

For those of you who never saw the movie – Bill Murray wakes up day after day with the same thing happening, sequence by sequence exactly as he had the day previous. Nothing changes. He has the same disagreements and the same conversations over and over. The theme is about experiencing the same lesson over and over until you learn it.

Yeah, I know. We talk about stuff like this – but do we really learn our lessons in life? Judging by the conversations I have with others, who get stuck in a circle of behaviour that repeats over and over – not very often.

Case in point - I travel frequently by air – and as a result have to endure the disrobing, dismantling and de-shoeing at the airport security line every time I am scheduled to travel by plane. The problem was that I had the incredible “you been selected for a personal search” record of 8 out of ten visits. That’s right – out of 20 trips through the security line, I was ‘randomly’ searched 16 times.

At first I was upset, then curious, then disgruntled and then furious. It got to the point that I arrived at the security line up thinking that I should just ask them to search me. That way it was my choice and I could choose if I wanted to waste their time instead of having them waste mine.

For those who know me – I do not even come close to appearing like a security threat. So I began to rationalize. Did I appear too confident? Did I disrobe too early, knowing what to take off and what not to take off? Did I look too organized? When I go through the detector – it NEVER beeps so what is the deal?

The last trip I took, I waited in line patiently, nestled between about 10 true blue cowboys – hats, rodeo jackets and all. Some smelled of alcohol – a raucous bunch. I figured I was pretty safe looking in comparison as I did not have any spurs on my shoes – but I took them off anyway.

Three cowboys went before me – none of them taking off their boots. None were asked to. Then it was my turn – and you guessed it – I was selected for the ‘random search’.

I immediately demanded to be searched in private – as was my right to do so. This time though – I lost it. I became verbally abusive, difficult and vented my anger demanding to know what I had done to be chosen. A supervisor was called in and assured me I was chosen randomly. After the search was over – I complained to the supervisor – advising her of the poor job the security personnel had done.

They had missed searching my hair which was pinned up with a 6 inch pin. As a former police officer, having searched hundreds of people on their arrest – I knew this was a favourite spot for women to store knives and other weapons. I told them that they were truly incompetent!

Through the entire process, part of me watched from the outside myself at what was happening. I observed my behaviour and began to ask myself if this is the way I wanted to be treated ….etc. “Of course not” came my retort. “So what is the deal?” my good self asked my naughty self. Through a series of questions, I finally realized what was going on. And I also realized the lesson attached.

While in policing, I really regarded security personnel as ‘wanna-be’s”. They were never as well trained as police officers – and often those who could not cut it as cops were hired as security officers. The truth is I had no respect for their position and what they did. Little wonder that the lesson I had to learn was one of respect for those who held security positions at the airport.

I realized at that point that they were regular people with a position of authority – and that I needed to respect that. After an apology to the supervisor for my behaviour, I realized how important it was to respect others, not just those I chose to respect.

The result? That simple mindset of respect for my fellow human beings and their positions has resulted in a much calmer experience at all the airports I frequent. And it is no surprise that I have not been chosen for a personal search since I changed my mind.

The funnier piece of this story – I finally learned my lesson on groundhog day. Thanks to Bill Murray – I finally got it.