Separating the 'Women' from the 'Girls'

If there is one thing I have noticed about women in business is that they can be very petty. In fact it is often what separates the women from the girls - and the ones who treat their businesses professionally vs the ones who feel that gossip and involving others in disputes is necessary. Unfortunately some of the petty behaviours that some women display when angry about a situation in business are what harms how men view us in the business world. It makes all of us look bad. As a leader of a large organization of business women, over the years I have been privy to disputes that I should never have been made aware of. Petty disagreements, cries of unfair business practices and statements meant to discredit other business people and their practices have been brought to my attention over and over. In every one of these situations, poor communication has been the catalyst to many disagreements and the poor behaviour that follows. Starting and running one’s own business is stressful and requires a level head. I have often spoken of the value of having passion about what it is that you do – and injecting passion into your business, however passion of the negative sort does not belong in a business communications and the work environment. In fact if anything, passion and emotion often clouds ones decision making ability. This is the difference between how professional people handle disputes and unprofessional people fuel the fires of vindictive behaviours, name calling and slanderous and malicious comments. I am amazed at how some small minded business owners will seek to discredit the actions of others instead of thinking about their own paths - where they are headed -chasing their own dreams and doing positive things to get to where they want to go in their businesses. As a former Police Officer I watch with disbelief and they point fingers at others actions - judging them and blaming others for their own lack of success. And unfortunately it is more prevalent among women - How embarrassing! Recently I heard of a disgruntled business owner who allowed their anger about a situation to take control of their emotions. Instead of dealing directly with the problem and the perceived people involved – this business owner began visiting other businesses and involving them in the dispute – asking them to take sides. It became very uncomfortable for everyone. In the end the disgruntled business owner had spoken to no less than five people about the issue and still had not yet approached the person that they had the problem with. Unfortunately this has caused hard feelings amongst several people. The actions in fact appeared to be rather childish. In their vindictive comments they may not realize that spreading their opinion about the actions of others can be deemed to be 'defaming' in nature and the laws that surround these actions are pretty clear. Whether or not the person making the comments intends to or not- should they name a person or business in any comments that result in loss of business for the named business- they can seek remedy for this loss of business. But even more troubling - it is unprofessional. Grow up ladies. If you have a problem with another business - speak with the business owner - not everyone else. If you feel you have been wronged in any way there are government and non-governmental agencies that are set up to mediate such disputes. Spreading how you feel and engaging others in your smear campaign will only hurt yourself and how others view you.